Vicambulate.

You know I wouldn't lie.
But tonight, we'll leave it on the line.

Philophobia.

But sometimes, you can't do anything but to hope.

Get wastedddd.

Katherine, Yintong & Yuxuan are drunkards.
Muahahahaha.

These wishes I wished and dreams I chased.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Skating on the 12th.
Anyone?

PS. ANY KIND SOULS WANNA GO ZOUKKKK :d

An outburst of repressed emotions.

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground,
I gotta find my place.
I wanna hear myself.
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me,
Cause I’m just trying to be happy.

YOU BLOODY MOTHERFUCK.
How funny you can just rip off everything I say without crediting me a single shit, babe. You amuse me so very much that I just wanna rip your head off and fuck you a zillion times. I mean, honestly, are you that desperate for friends? Just take a look around you, do you really like what you see? How many of your so-called 'friends' have been there for you when you're down in the dumps? I dare bet there's less than 3. So, my dear, why do you have to suck up to people? Seriously, what do you gain from doing that? More friends? Fame? Reputation? You don't even have a stand of your own, what more can I expect from you? Oh I forgot. You only talk to people when you can gain something from them. Besides, you'd kicked me aside once you achieved your motive.
How realistic can you be...
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you.

Fickle.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT.
Dear Joee,
You should seriously just fuck off and die.
Motherfucking Bitch.

Let's fuck this.

I screwed up.
And once again, I make no sense at all.

Sum of clockwise = Sum of anti-clockwise

Push it baby, push it baby,
Out of control.
I got my gun cocked tight and I'm ready to blow.

I had a shock when I had a conversation with Danny & Cuixia earlier on. Check this out!
Danny: Eh joee.
Me: What?
Danny: You know that time I sit there, then got one bird fly, hit the fan, and the head flew off. Over there! *Points*
Me: WHAT FUCK? Serious? Head? Fly?
Danny: Ya, don't believe ask them la *Points*
Me: WALAO CUIXIA YOU KNOW GOT BIRD'S HEAD FLY OFF?
Cuixia: Ya, that time got bat fly inside, the body kena cut then die also.
Me: KNNBCCB REALLY?
Walao, can imagine how the bird and the bat look like or not. One headless and one bisected. Yuuuucks.

I'm sorry but I seriously just can't pretend like nothing happened. You probably are a pro at this, but I'm not. I very much want to end this. I can't sacrifice who I am just because you've got a problem with it. But I'll just close my eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. I'll learn to hold back my tears and act like I don't care. And then eventually, I'll get by.
I've had my share of fun, I'm done with everything now.

Exam tips(?!)

Hilarious.

Shit happens.

Just because she comes off strong doesn’t mean she didn’t fall asleep crying and even though she acts like nothing’s wrong, maybe she's just really good at lying.
Apart from studying SS and spamming chemical equations into my helplessly small brain, I've been feeding onto junk food and I can feel myself gaining 100000kg of fats. Walao right. I so desperately need to get my ass to the gym later. Am I even doing the right thing? Or am I just digging my own grave? Or is it that I couldn't get over the past? Why does shit always happens to me? I want to end this... But how? Fuck you, Joee.After facing the books for days, I feel like I'm becoming more like a bookworm. Omgggz, what's happening to me. I so needa get a life after 'O's. Fuck this. (U)

My little fairytale.

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

What a joke!

A disaster.

I have this fear that one day you’ll finally get a good look at me and I’m going to disappoint you cause you’ll see that I’m not as strong or as good as you think I am. And I’m afraid that it will change the way you think about me. If I am to rank my days accordingly to how shitty they were, today will be on the top 10. Trust me.

I'm always the problem.
Fuck it.

OHH MIII GODDD

O LEVELZZZZZ

Forgive my angst.

What I wanted to say was, I miss you, everyday.

Vanishing Acts.

Maybe the deepest part of who we are is what scares us or breaks our hearts, and we don’t want to share that with anyone. And when we do, we don’t want to lose those people.

Seriously,

Once again...

It took me awhile to realize that the problem actually lies with myself.
I am sorry.

It's like you never held back.

Do the whirlwind and shotgun the seat that beats that beats.
Hanging on to the one you love,
To keep keeping, sleeping and dreaming on.

Omg, O levels are coming and I think I'm like totally not prepared. I'm definitely not studying enough, and am definitely not putting in enough effort. Why is dear Joee so stupid. Argh. Anyways, it's the second last week of school and instead of doing some productive work in class, everyone's either spamming photos with their cameras or playing poker cards. (I seriously have the clubbing mood) Oh nozzzz, I need to stop slacking so much and start catching up already! Am seriously behind time x95342890647. :(
I love you. I love you. I love you.
I love you...
I wish that I have more time to study till O levels come. At the same time, I wish that O levels are over. How contradicting... I need more time to study so I can score better but I want O levels to end cuz I need to go shopping and skating desperately. Stupiddd.
----
Because there’s the inevitable scenario of someone criticizing my life or asking why I do whatever I do so much, and I’m going to reply with: “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, WHEN YOU ARE A HUNDRED TIMES WORST THAN ME?"

I wonder why some people think they're more superior than the others, and start judging them accordingly. "Oh nozz, look at her hair. Oh nozz, look at her face." Why don't these people ever take a good look at themselves first? Well, I've been thinking a lot lately and I finally found out why they just have to condemn the people around them. It's a pretty much straight forward answer thou. It's because these people simply feel too insecure about themselves and to make themselves feel much better, they start criticizing others. Seriously, how hilarious can this be?

The hidden agenda.

The ones that shun only think they have won.
I miss you fucking much, idiot.
:(
I think I'm suffering from not-enough-sleep disease, shit.

I really am a horrible person.

It's when I’m standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you, that I just want to scream to the whole room that I’m in love with you. It’s when I’m sitting alone with the phone in my hand, dialing your number and just hanging up, that I would trade a thousand tomorrows for just one day. It’s when I’m really sad about something and need someone to talk to that I realize you’re the only one who knew me at all. It’s when I cry myself to sleep at night, and it hits me how much I would give to hold you at that very moment. It’s when I think about you that I realize no one else in this world is meant for me.

Exactly how I feel right now.

I guess you’re proof that when you let go of the past, something better comes along.

I. Did. Study. But. The. Results. Just. Don't. Show.
Whatever huh. I shall just lock myself up after school and do papers after another until the start of 'O's. (If I'm not dead by then) Anyways, after years of failing History, I finally got a borderline pass. Haaaaaaaahahahahaha. :(
---------
If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know, big flashing red lights and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there’s a whole bunch of colored wires and I’m not sure which is the right one to cut but I guess the green one and then at the last second, no, the red one, then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left but then you don’t leave. Like that, okay?

LOL

Today is happy day.
HAHAHAHAHA.

Nightmare

Everything seems to slip away.
Or is it just me....?

Fool.

I am an idiot.
I am an idiot.
I am an idiot.
I am an idiot.
I am an idiot.
I am an idiot.
I am an idiot.
What's wrong with you, Joee?

They way we're living makes no sense.

"I just don’t know if I wanna do it anymore, get close to somebody so they can leave again."
-One Tree Hill

Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. Why am I so stupid. :( I have been failing Chinese ever since Primary School and I just have to fail it for Prelims as well. What shit! (I fucking swear I did my best lor!)
----
She exists outside of love, in all of the space that those four tiny letters can’t fill, where the people you can’t live without are the ones who’ll save you or kill you or both. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.

In your face, bastard.

Alas, I'm ready to be the girl I used to be. The one who never cried, never got mad about dumb things. And the one girl that never cared about being in love.

.

The dream, the heaven and the hell.

Will somebody please come help carry the burden of this heavy heart?

Being the typical don't-care-exam type of person, I went shopping @ town the day before my Math and Accounts Paper. Sure I had fun, but I bet I won't do well for that subject. And as usual, both my balance sheets couldn't balance. (WHY EVERY TIME LIKE THAT AH?) + I left one whole question out for Math, cuz I really didn't know how to do. Stupid vectors :(

Anyways, went out to slack with Kat yesterday. Watched Aliens In The Attic, and went to drink after that. Stupid Katherine earned $5 by asking people to help her open the bottle. Check this out!
Guy: You give me the bottle I help you open.
Kat: Okay. *Gives*
Guy: *Took into the room and open, accidentally burst the whole bottle* Eh sorry ah, I pay you back.
Kat: Huh, nvm la.
Guy: Nvm, *Takes out $5*
Kat: Nvm~
Guy: It's okay la.
Kat: Okay. *Takes*

So nice right, walaooo. (Kat cannot walk in a straight line) HAHAHAHA. Spammed called Bel, and met them after that. Fucking knee damnnnnn painnnnnn! T.T

A second chance doesn't mean anything unless you learned from your first.
Some idiot made me remember the 'London Deal'. What shit right! Of cuz I'll say no to that man. Who in the right mind would go to somewhere they'd never been before, let alone go there by himself?! Stupid thing! I really don't want to leave.

Fuck this shit.

Lie to me for the last time.

Tell me you hate me,
Make me give up.

Worst wishes to you.

"The worst thing in life is to lose a friend. A friend that means the world to you, a friend that you put all your trust and faith in, a friend that you believed in from the start, a friend that took the center of your heart, a friend that you’d die for, a friend that you wanted to cherish for a lifetime, a friend, a good friend, a best friend."

I still think I'm going to fail Physics, as usual, even though I kinda studied yesterday. Anyway, almost everyone thought accounts was easy, but I thought otherwise. It's so difficult la. I feel like a major idiot right now. :(

THIS IS SO HILARIOUS,
ALL OF YOU ARE.
Honey, you can act like you don't give a damn, you can act like nothing's gonna affect you, but your intentions are made clear already. Funny how you can still put on that smile on your face. I won't pity you, dearest, and I wish you the worst out of everything. (L)

Run away.

P.S. Just so you know, it's really hard to act when you're caught in the middle. I always tell myself that I'm just thinking too much and everything's gonna be okay when everyone'd sorted things out. However, it was too early to say that. Nothing's getting any better and in fact, the situation's just getting out of hand. Sometimes I really don't wanna give a shit about it, but I just can't. Although you can't see it, the tension's there. You can feel it. I've been trying to get away with everything, every minute and second, but it seems like I can't keep up with it anymore. I want to run away from all my problems, I wanna jump down a building, I want to stop talking to people and act like I'm all happy and stuff, cuz I'd reached my limits. I am stupid. I am a bitch. I am everything I'm not. I am just done with everything, so I want to break down now. I want to cry my heart out and tell everyone how I feel deep inside, I want someone who I can rely on and pour out my feelings. I just want a nice warm hug. I am sorry for whatever you feel that I'd done to you. I did not harbour any bad intentions, I just didn't want to face reality. And therefore, I apologize for my fucked up behaviour.

Can someone, just anyone, tell me what to do now?
I am lost...